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Mental Health and Motherhood
>>If you or someone you love is dealing with mental health issues, I have included a list of things that may help at the end of this post! I know that divorce is hard, parenting is hard, relationships can be hard and getting help does not make you a bad person!<<
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Alexa, play Mama Said by Lucas Graham!
I wasn't always a shitty parent... and honestly, I don't feel like I'm doing too bad now. BUT, I know that I have had moments in my motherhood journey where I was not showing up as the best possible version of myself. I know that I was not receiving emotional support from my partner in the way I needed to help me overcome depression, but I also lacked the ability to regulate myself in a healthy way. I suffered with postpartum depression and sprinkle in ADHD for a little pizzazz! I can see, now that I am no longer in the thick of it, why I acted the way I did (hyperfocus, decision paralysis, loss of drive). I have forgiven myself for how I behaved because I was only doing the best I could at the time and I know that at some point my kiddos will forgive me as well. They were fed and happy and healthy, and sometimes that's all you can do. I want to offer a list of tools that sure as hell helped me through the dark times and that allow me to be the best parent I can be!
Ya know what sis, this is our journey for a reason, and I am here to assist in any way I can! This is the season of growth for us Mama!! Let's go!
What has helped me show up as a better parent:
when I feel over stimulated, I like to toss these on and either enjoy the complete silence {so I can calm my brain} or put on something I can move my body to so I can energetically relieve my stress. You are not a terrible mother if you get touched out, or all the sounds get too loud, or you can't process all the things at once! The irritability that comes out of nowhere, the inability to make choices because you're too high-strung to formulate a solution... overstimulation is a big problem for moms and being aware that that is what was happening to me has made such a difference!
>I have Bose headphones that I use, but the link above will send you to a set that's budget friendly and PINK, because pink is life<
2. Burn Incense:
some people may prefer an essential oil diffuser or candles and that's perfectly fine too, but I like this specific brand of incense. I like to trigger my brain into a state of relaxation, and I can achieve that by lighting the same few scents that I also use while I meditate!
3. Therapy:
the unbiased opinion from someone, the ability to talk through triggers and issues, an outlet to talk about all the things that you are stressed about, 10 out of 10 recommend therapy! There is absolutely NO SHAME in utilizing this tool! Do not let the fear of other judgements weigh on your need to seek help. Trust me the ones dogging therapy are the ones who need it most!
4. Diet:
not an actual 'diet' but bringing awareness to what you're ingesting and how those things make you feel. Eating crap food will make it harder for your brain to process efficiently, which means if you're already struggling with mental health then TRY YOUR BEST to not overload yourself with dyes and sugars and processed junk. Cleaning up your diet and focusing on nutrition will help immensely!
Which sort of leads into my next tip:
5. Supplements:
CBD oil: a great option for those with sleep issues, anxiety, depression and more! I recommend it to many of my clients with or without THC consumption. Find what works for you!
I personally like to us this Magnesium Spray mixed with liquid coconut oil or added to my bubble baths. (this is something we all tend to be deficient in) {{please consult with your healthcare provider before taking anything new}}
6. Fitness:
move your body daily! Utilize endorphins to help your mind!
This doesn't have to be anything wild or more than 20 minutes of your time, but I promise you your thoughts will start to become clearer as you are taking better care of your body! Maybe you take the kids for a walk, maybe you do some home workouts or go to the gym, getting your heart pumping and sweating is so beneficial for your cardiovascular system, your ability to detox and your mental health (and more!).
7. Therapy Light:
this is essentially a happy lamp! It gives you vitamin D and helps kick seasonal depression in the ass! Turn her on while you get ready in the morning so you get all the benefits and have great lighting to do your hair and makeup!
8. Nervous System Regulation:
cold water dips {benefits of}, EFT Tapping {benefits of}, breathing techniques {benefits of}, yoga and meditation!
(I will have individual blogs coming to discuss the benefits of these!)
Mental health is our own responsibility, happiness is our own responsibility..... I truly believe that, but I simultaneously believe that; when you are a mother you need some people to lean on for support.
If you don't want to get out of bed or off the couch...I see you!
If your ADHD has you in decision paralysis...I see you!
If you feel numb and the things you once enjoyed seem like a burden instead of enjoyable....I see you!
It's okay to struggle, we all do! Please do not let the perfect parenting facade that is on social media make you feel 'less than'. You are the perfect parent for your child! Their souls came to you for a reason sweet mama, and you can all be on the journey of love, growth and understanding together!
So much love & light to you!
xo, Jess
PLEASE IF YOU FEEL LIKE HARMING YOURSELF OR OTHERS: 988 (Suicide Crisis Hotline)
POST PARTUM DESPRESSION DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE A BAD MOTHER!: Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 to get in touch with Postpartum Support International
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